Family Violence is not just physical

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Family Violence is not just physical

Fist bumpAlthough most people would understand family violence as women being physically assaulted by their male partners, there are many forms of abuse that make up family violence. It is also important to note that Family Violence exists in all cultural and socio-economic groups.

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    Physical violence

    Hitting, slapping, pushing, shoving, choking, kicking, biting, punching.

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    Using coercion

    Making and/or carrying out threats to get your partner to do what you want them to including threatening to leave, threatening to take the children, threatening to commit suicide.

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    Sexual violence

    Rape, making your partner do things she is not comfortable with, including making her watch pornography, coercing your partner to have sex when she has said no.

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    Using intimidation

    Making your partner afraid by using looks, actions and gestures, smashing things, hurting pets.

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    Using emotional abuse

    Put downs, name calling, mind games, humiliating your partner in public, making your partner feel guilty for your abuse.

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    Using isolation

    Not letting your partner spend time with their friends and family. Use of jealousy as an excuse to control who your partner sees or where they go.

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    Minimising, denying and blaming

    Denying that the violence happened, blaming your partner for your violent behaviour, downplaying the impact of your violence on your family.

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    Using children

    Making your partner feel like they are a bad parent, using access times to harass the other parent, interrogating your children on what the other parent is doing.

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    Using male privilege

    Making all the big decisions, treating your partner like a servant.

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    Using economic abuse

    Preventing your partner from getting or keeping a job, making your partner ask for money, giving your partner an allowance, taking your partner’s money for your own use, not letting your partner have access to bank accounts or other financial information.

“What really blew me away was when my wife asked me why I don’t treat my friends the way I treat her and the kids.  I told her it was because my friends wouldn’t want to know me if I treated them like that.  It really made me think”

“I used to blame everyone else for my violence.  Now I understand that I choose how I react.  Other people don’t make me lash out.”

“I was a bit worried about being in a group with other men, but I’m glad I did it.  I learnt heaps from the others, they’re like family now, and realised it’s not just me that has this problem.”

If you are using any of these tactics to gain power and control in your relationship and would like help to change this, please contact us and we will find the right programme for you.

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